Coping with Sexual Assault

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KEY POINTS

• Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact, including touching or kissing, or hurting your genitals.
• After a sexual assault, you may have physical, emotional, and mental symptoms.
• If you have been sexually assaulted, call the police and then go to the hospital. You may need to be treated to prevent sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy.
• Treatment may include medicines, therapy, and learning ways to manage stress.

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What is sexual assault?

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact, including touching or kissing, or hurting your genitals. Rape is sexual intercourse done without consent. Rape is one kind of sexual assault.

Sexual assault and rape may be done by a stranger but may also be done by someone you know, as in the case of date rape or domestic violence.

All forms of sexual assault and rape are crimes. Sexual assault is a crime even if you were drinking, taking drugs, given drugs, or unconscious when it happened. Homosexual rape, incest, and other sex offenses are also sexual assault. Statutory rape is sex with someone who is not yet old enough to legally consent. An example of this is a 25-year-old man having sex with a 15 year-old girl.

What are normal reactions?

Sexual assault is traumatic, even if you were raped by someone you know.

Physical reactions may include:

• Fast or pounding heartbeat
• Trouble falling or staying asleep
• Headaches, backaches, or stomach problems such as heartburn, diarrhea, or constipation
• Jumpiness or being startled by noises or if someone touches you
• Eating, drinking, or smoking more than usual

Emotional and mental reactions may include:

• Having nightmares
• Having sudden mood swings
• Having trouble concentrating or staying focused
• Having flashbacks
• Feeling ashamed or that you are to blame and trying to isolate yourself
• Feeling afraid or like you are always on guard
• Feeling angry
• Being depressed
• Being in shock or feeling numb

What are some ways to cope?

It is important to go somewhere safe after an assault, or call someone to help you. If you have been sexually assaulted, call the police and then go to the hospital. You may need to be treated to prevent sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy. You should have an exam within a few hours of the assault (and before showering or bathing) even if you don’t want to press charges. To help provide evidence of the assault:

• Do not bathe, comb your hair, or clean any part of your body. Don’t even brush your teeth.
• Do not change clothes if possible.
• Do not urinate before being examined if you think that you were given a date rape drug.
• Do not touch or change anything at the scene of the assault.

Write down all the details you can about the attack and the attacker.

There may be a rape victim support service in your area. These services are usually available 24 hours a day. They will usually send someone to go with you to the police or emergency room and help you find counseling afterward.

It may take a long time to feel like yourself again after sexual assault. A good place to start is RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. It’s free and confidential. You can also contact your local rape crisis center. They can recommend a therapist with training in sexual assault.

Therapy

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a way to help you identify and change views you have of yourself, the world, and the future. CBT can make you aware of unhealthy ways of thinking. It can also help you learn new ways to think and act.
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) helps you cope with feelings and thoughts about distressing past events. You move your eyes back and forth, usually following the therapist's hand or pen, while you recall the event. Over time, you become less upset about the event.
• Exposure and response prevention therapy helps you confront your fears by gradually increasing your exposure to them. This process also involves learning ways to relax, such as breathing exercises. With help from your therapist, you learn to overcome your anxiety.
• Family therapy is often very helpful. Sometimes friends and family may push you to "get over it" before you’re ready. Family therapy treats all members of the family rather than working with one person alone.

Medicine

If you have symptoms of depression, anxiety, or trouble sleeping, medicines may help. Your healthcare provider will work with you to select the best one for you. You may need to take more than one type of medicine.

Ways to take care of yourself

• Get support. Talk with your family and friends. Consider joining a support group. Online support groups can help if you are not ready to talk in person.
• Learn to manage stress. Learn ways to relax, such as deep breathing, mental imaging, or relaxing muscle groups one at a time. Yoga and meditation may also be helpful. You may want to talk with your healthcare provider about using these methods along with medicines and therapy.
• Take care of your physical health. Try to get at least 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. Eat a healthy diet. Limit caffeine. If you smoke, quit. Avoid alcohol and drugs. Exercise according to your healthcare provider's instructions.
• Check your medicines. To help prevent problems, tell your healthcare provider and pharmacist about all of the medicines, natural remedies, vitamins, and other supplements that you take. Take all medicines as directed by your provider or therapist. Talk to your provider if you have problems taking your medicine or if the medicine doesn't seem to be working.
• Contact your healthcare provider or therapist if you have any questions or your symptoms seem to be getting worse.
• Get emergency care if you or a loved one has serious thoughts of suicide, violence, or harming others. Seek immediate help if you have severe chest pain or trouble breathing.

How can I help someone who has been assaulted?

There are many ways that you can help a friend or family member who has been sexually assaulted:

• Be there and listen. Don’t judge or blame. It’s important to help the person feel safe. They may not be able to talk about what happened right away.
• Encourage the person to get professional counseling.
• If the person wants to get medical care or report the assault, offer to go along to the hospital or police station.

It is upsetting when someone you know has been sexually assaulted. You can call a hotline to get support for yourself. You can also get ideas about ways to help the person through the recovery process.

For more information, contact:

• Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
  800-656- 4673
• National Center for Victims of Crime
  800-394-2255