Pregnancy Choices

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KEY POINTS

• If you didn’t plan on getting pregnant, you have 3 main choices to consider: raising the child, putting the child up for adoption, or having an abortion.
• A counselor can help you think through the pros and cons of each option. There is no one best choice for everyone.

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What if I have an unplanned pregnancy?

The first question you need to answer is whether or not you are pregnant. A home pregnancy test should be confirmed by a pregnancy test done at a clinic or your healthcare provider’s office.

Dealing with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy can be very hard. Talking with your healthcare provider, partner, family, friends, clergy, or a counselor may help you think through your options and decide what to do. It may not be easy to talk about, but you need good information to make good choices.

What choices do I have?

If you didn’t plan on getting pregnant, you have 3 main choices to consider.

• Raise the child. Being a parent is a big responsibility, and it's normal to not always know what to do. You’ll need medical care during your pregnancy and delivery. You'll need to provide a stable home and guidance for your child. You'll teach your child to make decisions and become more independent. You may feel unsure of yourself, overwhelmed, and maybe a little frustrated at times. If you decide to raise the child, you are committing to many years of being a parent. Raising a child also means managing finances for food, clothing, health insurance, and other things your child will need.
• Place the baby for adoption. Counselors can help you talk through the options of an open or closed adoption. A closed adoption means that the birth parents and adopting parents don’t know each other. Records are kept sealed. In an open adoption, the birth parents can meet and approve of the adopting parents. You may be able to work out an agreement to share in the raising of the child if this is something you want. Adoption laws may vary from state to state. You need to know which types of adoptions are legal in your state. In most states, adoptions are considered final when the child is 6 months of age.
• Have a termination of the pregnancy (also called a TOP or an abortion). If you choose to end the pregnancy, waiting too long can put your health at risk. In some states, a TOP may not be an option after the first few weeks. The type of procedure used for a TOP depends on the stage of pregnancy and state and federal laws. Procedures may include:
  • Medicine taken by mouth to end a pregnancy in the first few weeks
  • Surgical tools put into the vagina by your healthcare provider to vacuum or scrape the baby and pregnancy tissue out of the uterus
  • Medicine used after the 14^th week of pregnancy to cause you to go into labor

How do I decide?

When you find that you are pregnant, you may have some very strong emotions. Your life will not be the same, and you need to take time to explore your values, feelings, relationships, and thoughts about your future. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• How would a child affect what I want to do with my life? Am I willing to give up freedom, social events, and possibly school or career to raise my child?
• What does the baby’s father think? Do I want the baby’s father to provide for the child? Am I willing to raise a child on my own?
• Am I able to give a child what he or she needs? Can I afford to raise the child? Would I need Medicaid or other government assistance?
• Do I think that someone else would give my child a better home? How would I feel knowing that someone else was raising my child?
• How do I feel about abortion? Will I feel guilty, sad, or regret my choice later?
• Do I feel pressured by anyone to make a certain choice?

It may be helpful to talk with a counselor who can help you think through all the pros and cons of each option. There is no one best choice for everyone.

For more information, see

• PregnancyOptions.info
  http://www.pregnancyoptions.info/pregnant.htm#4
• Child Welfare Information Gateway
  https://www.childwelfare.gov
• The Center for Parenting Education
  http://centerforparentingeducation.org/resource-directory/
• Planned Parenthood
  https://www.plannedparenthood.org
• The National Parenting Center
  http://www.tnpc.com